I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
