Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
