We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
