You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
