I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
