Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
