We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
