But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
