I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
soo... how was my night?
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