since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
