I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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