So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
