first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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