he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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