i just wanna soil my oats bro
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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