wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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