hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
