The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
