I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Dick very happy bro
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
