I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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