office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
