its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
