don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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