I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize