ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
