I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
