the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She's the barista slut.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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