If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
