how can u be prego again
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
i now understand why vodka
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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