two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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