Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize