five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
