Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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