At least make sure they are 18
Why
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize