Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
