In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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