don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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