i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
