You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
