You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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