Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
