im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
