Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
