Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
