this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
