hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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