with your own penis?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
