My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
