apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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