I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize