I need to stop coming to work sober
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
