He disabled his match.com account in front of me
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
