how can u be prego again
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
