Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
