I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
