i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
